okay pat passed out under dana's car
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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