what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize