and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
