No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
His hands were made for my vagina.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
