Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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