I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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