Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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