Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
