My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
