Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
