went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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