NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
