she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
