This is not my ceiling
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
