Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
