my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
