You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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