Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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