Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
