You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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