do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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