he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
