Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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