Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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