Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
