so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
