the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
ok first of all what the fuck
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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