Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
