Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he wants to bone in the snuggie
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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