He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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