You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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