i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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