Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
