Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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