he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
