i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
