Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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