i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she peed on how many people?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
