Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
