I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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