So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
