Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
