uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
