JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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