she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
