so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
