Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i think i just lost a toe
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
