This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
