We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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