why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
