So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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