u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
