my room smells like sperm. sweet.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
