Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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