Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
