OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize