Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She even gives head with a lisp.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
