i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
