I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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