dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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