What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize