Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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