Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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