I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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