I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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