After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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