Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
