My friends, they love my intelligence
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
