I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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