I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
