Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
